Let's just recap today...

This is one of those days that I'm glad we did not schedule school. We would have failed. Big time.

Ever heard the saying "the S*** hit the fan"? Yeah, well, today it hit the floor.

Jonah and a friend are doing tennis camp this week. Today was their first day. I purposely left the morning open so we didn't have to stress about it. Camp started at 11:30, but we needed to run by the bank and get to the clubhouse early to finish registration. We were all up (and I was showered - insert Hallelujah Chorus here) by 7:30. We ate breakfast and I got a call from Jason asking where I was because a crew was headed here to install smoke detectors (read post below about in-laws house) and fix the doorbell (there goes the Hallelujah Chorus again).

Jason walked in...holy cow. He says "see my eye?" Uh, yeah. I see the big 'ol blister on your eye! Gross. So after I hung up from our insurance company upping the coverage on our homeowners' policy (again, notice post below), I called the eye doctor. No luck, they were booked. Jason called a doctor the first doctor recommended, got an appointment and said, "I have to go to the bathroom." That's where the fun really started.

Let me preface this by saying...if your husband comes out of the bathroom and asks "do we have a plunger?"...leave your home. Quickly. Do not return until a hazardous waste crew has cleared the scene. Ick, Ick, Ick.

Sooooo...Jason called the plumber because the water was not only overflowing in our toilet, but the toilet in the second bath, the bathtub...you get the picture. Just then, after hearing the bathroom was out of service, Jonah decided she had to pee "right now." Great. We still had over an hour until camp, the plumber was going to be another couple hours, and I had two electricians working. It was hitting the fan...hard...and it was splattering all over my day. I called my friend, she agreed to let us invade until camp time, we packed up, and headed out. The electricians were in charge until I got home. Thankfully, one is a good friend, and the other is just a nice guy.

After I dropped Jonah off at camp, I headed home. I, of course, forgot to go to the bank in all the mess, but I wanted to get home and get some cleaning done before the plumber got there. Oops, too late, he was there and the electricians showed them where to go. I unloaded the two little ones and made it half way from the car to where the plumbers were working and was greeted with "shame on you." Uh, oh. What did I do? I didn't #2 so bad it clogged the toilet and then try to unclog it with the toilet brush! Oh, but that pile of cotton and string on the ground...yeah, those were mine. Oops, again.

Hmm. Just because they say "flushable" on the box, does not mean you should actually flush them. Heck, I even bought the ones with flushable applicators and wrappers! Nope. Got the lecture...the same one apparently a lot of women get because this happens more than these guys care to think about. It was at least 2 dozen. They were fishing them out for about an hour. I just kept apologizing and asking if they needed water. That was an expensive lesson in "what not to flush".

So, both bathrooms were bleached today and as much as I wanted to say, "clean up your own doody", I dug in. *shudder* After all, it was my fault for believing a box of Tampax. That and being born female.

I have now cleaned up the feces of every being in this house. Wow. Does that earn me some kind of plaque?


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