A quick cleaning tutorial : Dog Vomit

If you're like me, you've been in that situation of hearing a dog start to hork something up, only to be too slow in getting them out into the back yard.

If you're not like me you are VERY LUCKY!!!

Today I had the great pleasure of being on the phone when the boy dog decided to start working something up in the kitchen.  And of course, I was too late.

So I wanted to take a quick minute to share how I've learned to clean up dog vomit without vomiting myself.

First, get a huge stack of paper towels.  At least 5-6 thick.  The bigger the mess, the more towels.  20 layers is not out of the question.  Don't worry...trees and being environmentally friendly are nothing when liquids that come out of pets are part of the equation.

I took a couple pictures with my phone to illustrate.  Don't worry, I didn't take a picture of "it."

Then, take a plastic grocery bag and lay the wad of paper towels inside.

Now, hand this and a bottle of spray cleaner to your husband and say "have fun...you're the one who wanted dogs..."

OK, yeah...our dogs only barf when my husband is at work, too.

So take the vomit removal tool you just built and flip it over on the nasty spot.  Pinch it up and wipe around a little to remove the offending puddle.  Tie it up and pretend that it's not stomach contents you're carrying around.

Now, spray with some cleaner, wipe, and wash your hands with bleach.

Viola!

...

HEADing for trouble

It was a normal Saturday.  Much like the last few weeks, the girls and I were trying to stay out of the way of one of the many tradesmen who were currently setting up residence...I mean...beautifying our home.

I had managed to get some soup on the stove, half of which was to be delivered to a friend who had just gotten out of the hospital, and decided to let the girls play in the backyard for a bit while one of the painters was working in the living room.

Everyone was running around, kicking soccer balls and giggling, so I decided to look up my friends' number and give her a call to set up a time to drop by with dinner.  I pulled my phone out and Jamison ran by almost tripping over the edge of the porch.  I could see her running up toward the screen door that the big girls had ripped off.  It was currently leaning against the stationary side of the sliding glass door.

Then, it was like everything slowed down.  I spun around and in 1/10th time, tried to run toward her.  Picture the Matrix...you know, the scene where Neo is bending backward avoiding bullets.  Only I was spinning, reaching, knowing she would go right through.  She put her hands out in front of her as though she was going to use them to bounce back from the screen.  And after thinking back, I think she did actually bounce...well, at least I think her head bounced.

She fell forward, through the screen, and her arms just were not strong enough to hold her.  And if you haven't guessed by now, I didn't make it in time to save her.  I made it in time to jerk her up and see the blood pouring from her head.  She screamed out and began to cry.

And then...well, I can only describe this in the same way I remember it...try to keep up.

Big girls saw blood...screams from all of them began


I carried Jamison inside, blood dripping, big girls still screaming, me gently hushing, smiling, trying to remain calm and calm others.  


The painter walked into the kitchen, someone yelled "she fell!"


The painter turned white.  I think he might have sworn quietly in Hungarian, then said "Oh, my _ _ _.  Can I do anything?"


I am trying unsuccessfully to call Jason to come home so I can get her to the ER, a writhing baby and slippery hands prevented it.  I place the phone on the counter, trying to hold a bloody wet paper towel to Jamison's head, while telling the painter..."It's OK, probably just one stitch and we are fine..." Dialing, waiting, "Hello?" he says.  I respond with something like, "Jayma fell, busted her head, come home."  "OK, be right there."


I was now spreading blood further in the kitchen, it was all over the floor, my arm, Jamison...I'm blotting, searching the freezer for an ice pack...nothing!  Realizing the ice packs were in the freezer in the garage.  Mental note...bad place for them...


Dripping blood into garage.  Girls still screaming, asking if she will live...more fake smiling, gentle hushing becomes a bit louder.  Jamison still crying and every time I try to blot the blood off her face, she gets more upset and the blood flows freely again.  "Why don't you girls help clean the blood off the floor?"


Freezer contents are hitting the floor with the blood.  ICE PACK!  Hallelujah!!  Awestruck painter.  Screaming daughters.  "She will be fine!" More fake smiling.


I get back in the kitchen, grab a kitchen towel and actually think, "I don't want this ruined with blood!" So I grab another handful of paper towels.  


I'm now wrestling a 19 month old baby...determined not to be touched by ice.  Jason walks in.  How long was that?  2 minutes?  How fast did he drive?


I tossed the useless icepack to the side, grabbed...everything I could get my hands on to take with me to the ER.  Wiping the blood off...baby in the car...we're off.  


Phone calls to interested parties, explaining there would be no dinner delivered, being asked by 10 people the same two questions:
"How did it happen?"
"Did she lose consciousness?"

I really do not remember much from that evening.  I was tired.  I was really tired.

And I remember thinking...

No matter how hard I try, I cannot protect my children from everything.

But I will still try.  I'm Mom.



...

Honoring My Husband

Sounds so offensive, doesn't it?

How dare I even think about doing something so archaic, so, so...Biblical?  Good job, Lisa.  You and women like you are setting back the Women's Movement buy centuries there...

Honestly...if that's what you think...GIVE ME A BREAK.

Sure, some women are doormats.  Sure, some men are oppressive beasts.  But let me tell you something, when I say I want to honor my husband, I mean it.  And when I'm doing it...when I'm truly loving him according to God's plan (which, OK, isn't as often as it should be), things are awesome.  I feel awesome.  And it doesn't matter if I'm not getting my way, or if life is playing out just like I planned.  Everything is still awesome.

It's a funny sort of thing, how I came to write this blog entry.  I was doing Bible study with my girls one morning a couple weeks ago.  We do one verse from Proverbs a day.  We were on Proverbs 16:8.

Better is a little with righteousness
than great revenues with injustice. 

How on Earth did I get from that to honoring my husband you ask?  Well, let's take a little journey into my thought processes for a moment, shall we?  (Don't be scared...we aren't going in that far...you won't be permanently damaged...)

After Jonah reads the daily verse, we discuss it's meaning.  So I began by asking them, "would you rather have a little house with not many toys, or would you rather steal a bunch of money and have a really big, nice house with a whole bunch of stuff?"  Being well trained little robots, they told me what I wanted to hear.  *sigh* I mean, they pondered the question and gave a truly thoughtful answer of "the little house."

So we went on to talk about how hard we should work and focus on how we can serve the Lord, not on what we can get.  And we should find joy in the blessings we are given, not look at what we don't have.

After our discussion, the middles are to draw a picture of how they can apply the day's verse, while Jonah and I write a prayer in our journals.  This is how it usually plays out:

Me: Ok, Jorja, what are you going to draw?
Jorja: Well...I think I'm going to draw myself in a really pretty dress, and I'm a princess and....
Me: How does that apply to the verse, Jorja?
Jorja: I'm going to write the word "GOD" right here.
Me: How about you just draw a picture of yourself doing your chores and not complaining?
Jorja: Ok, but I'm going to be wearing a pretty dress...
Me: Josie, can you draw a picture of yourself doing chores?
Josie: I'm already drawing a mermaid.
Me: A mermaid has nothing to do with the verse.
Josie: (sighs loudly) Fine.  I'll draw myself as a mermaid doing my chores.
Me: (sighing loudly) How about if you draw Daddy working hard for our family.  He always works hard so we can have everything we do.  

And then we have "silent time."  Silent time is the time where I try to write my prayer while shushing the girls 900 times and I'm usually lucky if I get to focus at all.

But this morning...I started thinking.  "He always works hard so we can have everything we do."  And enter conviction.  I suddenly realized just how little I honored my husband when I complained that the wood trim was ugly.  Just how little I appreciate the long hours when I get angry that our carpet is worn out and how I moan that our countertops are not granite.  Or that the blinds are broken, or that the master bath still has not been caulked.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying I don't contribute.  I do.  I try and stretch our dollars and I try to stay in budget and make our home comfortable and nice.  But I don't deal with unrealistic expectations from clients (of course, after being married to me, he should be an expert in that field).  I don't try to manage employees (sure, I manage children...but let's face it, he can't put an employee in time out!)  And I certainly don't have to leave my family before most are awake in the morning and sometimes not come home until my babies are asleep.

The weight of what I do have became very great.  As did the weight of the sacrifice of my husband for us.

So this was the short prayer I wrote after I had my little 'aha' moment.

Father,
Thank you for our incredible blessings.  Thank you for my husband who works so hard for us.  Please help me to honor him by being joyful and content with the blessings you have given our family through him.  Help me to instill this trait in my daughters, so that one day they may honor their husbands in that way.
Amen

I have a long way to go to really live this out.  And yes, since this prayer was written, we have been very blessed to start doing some repairs and upgrades in our home, but I have not forgotten how much of an impact that morning had on me.

Making a quiet book

One of the wonderful things about having children is introducing them to the worship service at church.  It's fun to see them watch and absorb what is happening around them.  It's not so much fun when they get tired of being quiet (one of the big problems with my little chatterboxes) and sitting still.

So this Christmas, I decided I would make Jayma a little quiet book for church.  What's best is that the whole thing is made from remnants.  I didn't buy a thing!

So I Googled...and I checked Pinterest, and came up with a small book to start.

Let me begin by pointing out that when you undertake any sewing project, you really need to find a neat and tidy area to work.

It's important to have an organized sewing box.

I can't emphasize enough how much faster a project will progress if you are able to easily find everything you need.

Now that we have that out of the way...

On to the book.
I was going to sew the whole thing together, but after breaking 3 needles, I decided to just put in grommets and that would allow me to add other pages later.

The cover just has her name.  I tied the pages together with ribbon...I think that turned out cute.

The First pages have a pie to weave, a napkin to fold, and shoes to lace, button and velcro.

Then I have a page of shapes to match and a little barn with doors that open.  There is a pocket to add little animal finger puppets, but she doesn't get those until she stops putting everything in her mouth.  

One of my favorite pages is the button flowers.  She can take the flowers off and move them around.  I also have a clock with hands that move independently.  You know so she can keep track of the time she is spending listening to the sermon.  

Finally, on the back is the pocket, of course. It is complete with felt coins on ribbon to take in and out.  

I can't wait for her to open it Sunday.  If she likes it half as much as her sisters have, it will be a hit!

Rat Toes...or Bacon-Wraped-Shrimp-Stuffed-Jalapenos for those who prefer.

Last week we had the great pleasure of getting 6 really nice sized jalepenos as part of our weekly produce bag.  That left us with only one option of how to serve them.  Rat Toes!

You see, a good friend of mine, Hope C. in Atlanta recommended a restaurant by the name of Six Feet Under on a trip to see her a few years ago.  It was a great recommendation.  As was the recommendation to try Rat Toes.  Sounds appealing, doesn't it?  Well, don't knock 'em till you've tried 'em.  Because they were superb.

And since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, we came home and attempted to make our own.  I mean, a gal can't be expected to go a year or more without a mix of shrimp, bacon and peppers, can she?

So here is my little tutorial on how to make them for yourself.

First, you need a good line up:

You are going to need peppers.  We used 6 good sized jalepenos and 8 smaller jalepenos from a friend's garden, along with a trial run of 3 banana peppers from our own garden.  You will also need one raw, peeled shrimp for each pepper, a strip of raw bacon for each pepper, and some toothpicks or skewers.

Step 1 is to cut all the stem ends off and carefully clean out the seeds and ribs.  The more seeds and ribs you remove the milder the pepper will be.  

Then you take one shrimp per pepper and stuff the shrimp in tail first.
Since we had smaller peppers as well, I cut some of our shrimp in half to make them fit.

Once you have the shrimp stuffed, it's time to wrap them in bacon.  Ohhh...bacon.  I'm pretty sure we cut the bacon in half, but really, can you use too much bacon?  No, you cannot.
Make sure to skewer them with a toothpick to hold the bacon in place.
For the 8 smaller peppers, we just lined them all up on a long kebob skewer with bacon serpentined between.  Doesn't that just make your mouth water?

I lined a broiler pan with foil - this is very important - without the foil, you will be scrubbing that pan forever.

I put them under the broiler for about 10 minutes on one side and then flipped them over for another 10-15 minutes on the second side.

Wow, I am so hungry

And another view of that bacon-y goodness, just in case the first photo didn't make you hungry.

Here is the platter of Rat Toes, ready for eating.  We have some ranch dip in that bowl, but it doesn't really show up, being white dip in a white bowl.

And the Rat Toes as part of the whole meal.  All of the above veggies (spinach, carrots and broccoli) came from our organic produce co-op.

Our dogs speak what?

While encouraging my girls to clean their room (with a timer and a garbage bag) I heard the dogs going crazy barking in the living room.

This is the conversation that followed:

Me: "Oh, my. What are they barking at?!"

Jorja: "Don't ask me, I don't speak dog Spanish."

Jonah: "Dog Spanish?"

Jorja: "Or dog English...or whatever. I don't know what they are saying."

I had no idea our dogs were bilingual.

TA-DA!

I have finished this year's format of our Weekly Homeschool Record. I've broken from the "time/day" format to the subject format. Pray for me...this is a huge break away from my usual way of doing things. I'm trying to be more flexible. Let's just hope I don't bend too far and snap!

So here it is.


I have also uploaded our daily schedule for those of you who had asked to see it.

Let's hope it's worth more than the paper I printed it on!