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Friday, January 30, 2009

And I thought they were playing so well...

That's what I get for posting "25 random things about me" on Facebook.

It gave sweet little Josie time to join the ranks. She has been initiated now, she has been accepted as a full member of her sisters' little "make mommy crazy" club.

It began when Jonah ran into my room feigning shock, "mommy, you have to see this!" In the most dramatic voice she could muster. My skin crawls when she uses this phrase. If Jonah is pretending to be offended by something, it has to be bad. "The bathroom is a swimming pool!"

No. No, no, no.

So I get up as quickly, yet as slowly as I can. Knowing that the longer it takes to get there, the longer I can put off my complete mental breakdown. "What happened?" I ask as if I did not know the answer. Images of Josie with a damp shirt and hair flash through my mind. Her with no pants on and me asking if she went pee-pee. It's all coming together now. She went potty. She tried to wash her hands. She plugged the sink and left the water on. I squeak out the question as if I'm moving in slow motion, "did you at least turn the water off?"

She nods. Jonah has saved me from at least another gallon of water.

I approach the bathroom to find slightly bubbly water on the floor, my eyes move up, the sink is flooded over onto the counter and water is running onto the floor. Now, I know it is hard to see here, but the water on the floor was 1/2 inch deep.

Of course, Jonah is in "I-didn't-screw-up-I'll-score-points-by-helping-fix-it" mode. So she grabs one of my good white bath towels...the really nice expensive ones I don't even offer to guests. She throws it on the floor. I sigh, grumble some nasty things and yell "everyone OUT!"

Cleanup goes well. The carpet in the hall was soaked so I headed across the house to get more towels and come upon this:

I guess Josie saw the chaos on the other end of the house and decided to grab the TP and run. I hope it was fun.

I rolled that back up, carried more towels to sop the carpet and realized Josie was MIA again. I did notice the two tubes of pink toothpaste in the living room and sighed at my now beige and pink polka-dot carpet.

I finally found Josie behind my bed. With the drawer to Jason's nightstand open and an empty bottle of Astroglide in her hand. There was a puddle of it on the floor. All Josie had to say for herself was "yucky." It was the icing on the cake, so to speak.

Yet, still, I had to laugh. I love these crazy children. I thanked God for reminding me how much I love them, for better or worse. Who would have guessed that it would take a 19 month old on a destruction spree to snap me out of my funk today.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

"Mommy, bad news. I'm blind in this eye."

That's what I was just told. She was looking in a view finder and couldn't see anything on the left side. "But sometimes," she says, "the picture is just upside down."'s for sure...either she's blind or maybe the viewfinder is broken. But it's one of those.

Hypochondriac. And I say that in only the most loving way possible.

Signs that you are potty training

  • Your 18 month old stands in the middle of the living room screaming "POO-POO!" and you run to her like a bomb is going off.
  • You have on hand (at all times) clean cloths and Resolve Pet Odor and Stain Remover. You panic when the bottle is low.
  • You have 3 - yes 3 - potty seats. A cute pink one on the floor, one that attaches to the toilet, and a portable for the van.
  • You do loads of laundry based loosely on what color the wet panties are.
  • If someone removes the potty book from the bathroom, it's grounds for a spanking.
  • One of your toddler's favorite things to say is "Bye, Bye, Poo-poo." as she flushes the toilet.
  • Your favorite sound is of pee or poop breaking the surface of the water in the toilet, instead of hitting the floor.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I have Tourettes of the brain today.

I have thought more dirty words about people in the last few hours than most sailors in a lifetime.

Not the REEEEEEALLY dirty word, mind you. Let's just say I have called into question the character of the mother of so many people around me. Especially if you happen to meet me in traffic. Or send me unwanted mail.

Thank goodness we have church tonight.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Making progress...

5 down,
5 to go.

Jason will be so proud...
until he sees the stacks of laundry on the bed.


Laundry count

3 down,
7 to go.


And I just hit my funny bone...adding insult to injury I tell ya.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Of Most Importance

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Our New President

We watched history unfold today for school. We discussed the metamorphosis in this country from a nation of slave-owners to a nation with it's first African American President. I once again teared up over the blessing I have to teach my child in my home. This was another special day in our home.

Jonah asked if she could draw a picture of president Obama. I think she did a great job.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Ask my kids how often they get gum. They will tell you not very often...and this is an example of why they don't:

Now, I know you are asking did the gum get on the back of her head like that? Please, isn't it obvious? It's not...yeah, I have no idea either.

Say cheese!

This is Josie's cheese face, just in case you have never had the pleasure. It always gets a smile out of me.

Time out failure...and some of my artwork

Jorja is quite a kid. It's really hard to find a place in the house that she cannot entertain herself. She was told to stand against the wall for getting out of bed, and decided she could do without the paint color. So she removed it.

While sitting there trying to decide whether or not to shake her, I relaxed with an art project...and this little guy was born:

I guess it's time to repaint.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Jonah lost her first tooth!!

She pulled it out herself. Somehow, she managed to get a blanket stuck on it (don't ask...this is just how my children work) and when she finally got it free, the tooth was bleeding. She was a little freaked out, but I gave her a damp paper towel to wipe the blood off her lips and she calmed down.
She kept saying it hurt, so I told her it would probably feel better just to get the tooth out. She didn't want me to touch it. I know this because she screamed a blood curdling "don't touch it!"
So she began to pull. I thought I was going to toss my cookies. She would pull a little, grunt a little, grimace, her hand would slip and she would start again. The whole time I'm trying to keep my cool and not dry heave loud enough for her to realize what was happening, and be encouraging. "Oh, Jonah, great job!" hurp. "Wow, this is so...uuurrp...exciting." Maybe if you...uuuuhhhh, hurp...twist it a little it will loosen more."
Then I noticed Jorja looking at me wondering what was wrong, so I had to give her the big fake smile. "Oh, Jorja...uumpf...Isn't this great, Jonah is such a...hurp...big girl!"
Finally, *shudder* she gave it a couple good twists and a tug and it came loose. Bloody and full of gunk. It was a barftastic moment in our home. Poor daddy missed it.
The tooth next to it is so loose that it doesn't even stand up straight anymore. I tell Jonah it's looking at where it's friend was and wondering where it went!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Since getting Guitar Hero, we have a different sort of family time. The kind the Partridge Family had, only with less raw talent. The girls love it, and we have to play “Livin’ on a prayer” every time.