I just taught Jorja how to properly pee on the floor.

Today I have been very busy with laundry, packing, cleaning, and watching The Office Season 4 Disk 2.

Jorja has been doing a fabulous job of peeing on the potty. Until 6 pm. That is when she came to me and said "Mommy! I got clean panties!" There was that sinking feeling. The one you get when you know you are about to clean urine or feces of something or someone. *sigh*

So we tracked down the pee spot. Holy carp. it was 10 inches wide by at least 4 feet long. On Monday I bought a bottle of Resolve Pet Stain and Odor. Today I emptied the bottle. That is just not right. So after spraying the heck out of the spot until my arm was tired, I asked Jorja, "What did you do...walk while you peed?" Her answer, not surprisingly, was "yes." So I found myself telling her to please make sure and stand in one place while she wet her pants. Ugh. I need a vacation.

Oh, and the panties are still MIA. I am sure I will just love where I find them.

I love Woot-Offs!!

Every once in a while something awesome happens in the techno-geek world. Woot.com decides to sell off all it's extra stock (read: clean out it's warehouse) and has a Woot-off.

You can get some amazing deals during a woot-off, unfortunately you do not get any sleep (not if you're committed to the woot-off) nor do you accomplish anything. I have been trying to avoid this Woot-off because I am trying to recover from being sick and need my sleep, and because I love my family.

However, this little gem did not escape my grasp (thanks to Brad who has been watching Woot!).

WOOT!!

Jorja peed on my floor from two shelves up.

This kid...*sigh*

I am going to start this one with a good note. While I was sick, Jorja decided to take care of me. She laid down next to me, rubbed my back, and sang "Nothing but the blood of Jesus" softly in my ear. She oozes cuteness.

However, she also excretes other stuff...

Apparently, if faced with multiple urges, she's going to go with the one that fills her tummy first. And sometimes that means climbing two shelves high in the pantry trying to reach the Princess Gummies and relieving herself all over the floor of the pantry. Our apple juice jugs and miscellaneous other food items are now nice and clean waiting to be used.

I have aseptic meningitis.

Or maybe "had" is a better term. Most of my symptoms are gone.

And take my word for it, it's not as fun as it sounds. One symptom is the inability to blog. Another is the inability to do any housework. Laundry included. Since we are heading to Disney (woot) in a couple days, I am trying to get the laundry caught up posthaste. This (paired with a mile long "to do" list) caused major laundry backup on my dining room table. It was obscene. If I had been able to find my camera, I would have taken a picture, but since I have an innate ability to loose cameras before any kind of vacation, it was hiding in the car. Don't ask...

I am feeling much better now, thanks for asking...but apparently the "swelling around my brain" is still causing some headaches. Nothing a few thousand Tylenol can't take care of, though!

I missed ITLAPD

I was sick. I'm so sad. I guess I will have to be twice as "piratey" next year.

I joined Facebook

Add me as your friend.

That is all.

Jorja speaks in the third person, and Jorja likes coffee.

Funny that Jonah is studying pronouns, because Jorja could use a lesson or two. She often asks questions in the third person.

"Is Jorja going to take a nap?" She will ask.

Today I was told, "Jorja is allowed to have coffee. Jorja likes coffee."

Oh, poop.

Yeah, I realized two things today, first, I have a small addiction to caffeine. Second, It's a big fat mistake to leave coffee on the table.

Let's address them in that order. For two days I have had a headache. I am drinking water, I took Advil...nothing. Then I realized. I haven't taken time to make myself a cup of coffee. Uh-oh. I'm going through DT's. Shaky, moody, headache...yeah, that sounds like caffeine withdrawal symptoms to me. So I am not only addicted to stroller shopping (ahem - we will address that later) but I am also addicted to a cup of morning Joe. I can live with that.

So moving onto revelation #2. *sigh* After I got my fix this morning, and Jonah and I were finishing up school, I got up from the table with my coffee still sitting at my place. Apparently, Jorja decided to try it (mental note: never leave a cup of bleach, acid, turpentine, or boiling water on the table...Jorja will drink it). She proudly announced to me that not only did she like it, but she was allowed to drink it. Now, this is a problem we are dealing with a lot lately. Jorja proclaims she is allowed to do a lot of things. Like mommy and daddy are so naive that we will just say "oh, well, if your allowed to do it, by all means, drink bleach!" Somehow, our discipline techniques fail.

So what is a mom to do when she realizes her 2 year old is about to go into warp mode? Do I dare drink another cup in an effort to keep up with her and risk instant coronary catastrophe? Or do I hydrate myself, do some stretches, and wait for the workout to begin? I chose #2. I'm still wondering if that was the correct choice.

After about an hour, she seemed to be alright, and I had a couple errands to run, so we loaded up the car (Jorja was already loaded-ha, ha) and headed to a bookstore. I know what you're thinking. Bookstore? Three kids? Do you not learn, woman? No, I don't. Newsflash: I'm stubborn and will not admit defeat. Not until I've alienated an entire store. So, after Jorja did one lap around Rock Solid (a home school curriculum bookstore, so they are used to those nasty, uneducated little antisocial home school types) the very patient saleswoman told them to pick out a movie to watch while I shopped. All I needed was one math workbook. That's it. But the clearance shelf got me. I only bought one Little House book, though, so don't fret. However, the caffeine started to kick in somewhere around lap 2 (OK, obviously before, but that's when it hit me that it hit her).

I paid and evacuated as quickly as possible. But we still needed milk, and my second errand was to buy some knock-off crocks at Walmart. So we swung into the Wally-world by the airport (it's far enough away from the house, I'm sure I won't run into anyone there again, anyway). So I had to throw Jorja into the back of the buggy because they didn't have the nifty kind like Publix does with the bench for the big kids and the baby seat, too. Mis-take! I fought her to sit down the whole time. She wanted the shinny shoes, she wanted to open the milk, she wanted this, that and the other. Everyone knew what she wanted. At one point, after screwing the top of the milk for the 152nd time, she yelled "Everyone! This is milk, I can open it!" Shopping. Trip. Over.

Thankfully, she came down on the way home, waayyyy down. She's still sleeping now, thank goodness, maybe I can get some work done in the kitchen and make dinner. Or, I can go lay on the couch...just for 15 minutes or so, you know, cat nap, then I'll get to work.

Ahhhh, yeah....

My husband is the best!! And I have some strollers to list on Craigslist!

He just let me buy this little number. It's the last I could find. I've been looking for weeks for one in stock, gave up and almost bought a cheap imitation today, but somehow I stumbled across this one:It's a thing of beauty. And it got great reviews!

Read and be amazed at it's awesomeness:

The Chicco Città Twin Stroller has a rugged yet lightweight frame that ways only 29 pounds! The Città Twin will meet both of your children’s needs with its independently adjusting five-position reclining seats and sun canopies. The five-point harnesses, adjustable leg rests, and all wheel suspension make for a safe and comfortable ride. The Città Twin has double the storage for double the passengers with its two storage baskets to carry all those baby and parent necessities. With its lockable swivels on the front wheels and its compact, umbrella-style fold, the Città Twin Stroller is easy to maneuver and transport.

Product Features

• Lightweight frame - only 29 pounds
• Independently adjustable canopies, leg rests, and five-position reclining seats
• Five-point safety harnesses and lockable swivels
• All wheel suspension
• Double the storage for double the passengers with two storage baskets
• Compact umbrella-style fold

Boo-Yah!

Mommy likes politics...sometimes too much...

To all my liberal friends (umm, both of you) I apologize in advance. This was humor wasted on a 6 year old.

Last week The girls and I made a diaper run to BJ's. In the checkout line a very nice woman was behind us, and asked if I could watch her cart (with 2 small children) while she ran to grab something she forgot. They were quiet so I agreed (I'd like to observe quiet children for a minute - sort of a case study kind of thing). She was gone much longer than I expected...actually I was almost checked out by the time she got back with an armload of ketchup and spices. (Don't get me started) While she was gone, Jonah pushed her cart forward in line and talked to her baby girl in the basket. Jonah told her what a cute baby girl she had, and the woman thanked her. They spoke for a moment and I overheard Jonah say "I didn't know she was a girl...I thought she was a boy." Which was silly, since she said earlier she thought she was cute.

Here is the conversation that followed in the parking lot...

Me: Jonah, sweetheart, I heard what you daid to the lady in the store. I just want you to know that you could hurt someone's feelings by telling them you thought their little girl was a boy.

Jonah: Well, I didn't know it was a girl.

Me: But you had just said you thought her little girl was cute, so you did know. It just wasn't the nicest thing to say. I'm letting you know, it's best not to do it again.

Jonah: But I was just saying it because she doesn't really look alot like a girl...

Me: Jonah, you are missing my point, it's not important why you said it, I'm just telling you that it could have hurt her feelings, and it's not the kind of thing you tell someone.

Jonah: (Miscellaneous arguing while I'm hoisting giant boxes of diapers and wipes into the car)

Me: (getting frustrated) Listen Jonah, I'm not going to argue with you about this. If you just accept you were wrong and say "yes m'am, I'm sorry and I won't do it again" it makes you a nice little girl. If you instead argue and make excuses, it makes you a Democrat!

Jonah: (holding back tears) But..but...I don't want to be a Democrat!!

Me: Oh, baby, I'm sorry, that was a joke, your not a democrat.

Oops.

Third time's the charm

Here she is, perfection in a cute little blue-eyed baby...

This is what Josie did Wednesday during homeschool:

*sigh*

So sweet.

...

Jorja's second day of school

Much better at pickup time...wow.

And the best news, well, I'll let you guess...take a look at the before school and after school pictures...


Ding, ding, ding!! Those of you who have recently potty trained got it, didn't you? For the rest of you suckas, she's wearing the same clothes! She didn't have any accidents at school. I may actually survive potty training her (with help from her teacher, that is!)

...

Jorja's first day of preschool

Yesterday was Jorja's first day of preschool. I really like her little school and her teacher "Ms. Anna." She was very excited and ran into the classroom to play, hardly noticing that we were leaving. There was sadly, no goodbye kiss for mommy. Just a wave and a "bye" as she played with some baby dolls.

Here she is, all dressed and ready to go:


And here she decided that her backpack was too heavy:



Waiting outside for the doors to open:


Here was her first day's lunch - grape skewers, cucumber stars, carrot flowers, bologna hearts and crackers(yes, I'm having fun with bento again):


And this was the goodbye:


Pickup was another story altogether. Jorja was obviously exhausted. As we were leaving, she decided to run into the one year old class. After trying to be calm and ask nicely, (gotta keep up appearances to the other moms) I finally went into the class and picked her up to take her out. That's when she bit my shoulder. Not wanting to make a scene, I decided to discipline her when we got to the car. I asked her to help me push Josie's stroller. As we got out the door, she made her break. She ran right down the sidewalk and in front of a suburban...with me close on her heels - I yelled to Jonah to stay with Josie and the stroller.

She broke right and made her way toward the playground, behind a bush. As I tried to run to one side to grab her, she would dart toward the other. We went back and forth a couple times, me getting redder and redder while she was giggling. It was fantastic fun for a 2 year old and insane humiliation for a mother. I finally faked her out and grabbed her arm.

Jonah, who was back at the stroller, pushed Josie to the car while I manhandled a screaming, kicking, punching Jorja to her car seat. We were making quite a scene, Jorja screaming "don't do that", and "you're hurting me", while I'm practically breaking her in half pushing her down into the seat to get it buckled. If you have never had a child straighten their body out completely to keep you from buckling them in, you are missing one of life's great challenges. It never ceases to amaze me how strong a 2 year old child can be. It's a real test of strength and will to get them into the seat without killing them or causing some damage to internal organs.

By the time we got home, she was only screaming at half volume, but she was really red and had tears streaming down her face. I plopped a very sweet and overtired Josie into her crib and literally had to pin Jorja to her bed with my arm to get her to stay in. She continued the screaming fit with me next to her and within seconds she was out and had probably one of the best naps of her life.

I can't wait for 1:30 today. I would say that she could never top that performance, but let's not kid ourselves. This is Jorja...